Untitled.

How To Easily Understand the Signs of The Zodiac

astrawrlogy:

The signs are defined and represented by their ruling planet, element, mode, and the houses they’re associated with. It’s much simpler to comprehend what each of them stands for and means once you acknowledge this.

Ruling Planet: what the sign is made of
Element & Mode: how the sign operates
House: what the sign values

PLANETS & LUMINARIES
Sun: action, ego, self, being, will
Moon: reaction, emotion, receptivity, inner self
Mercury: thought, speech, mind power, perception
Venus: love, art, beauty, compassion, lust, glamour
Mars: anger, passion, sex drive, inspiration, courage
Jupiter: morals, luck, knowledge, learning, teaching
Saturn: inhibitions, obligations, boundaries, discipline
Uranus: discovery, progression, revolution, evolution
Neptune: fantasy, reality, illusion, rapture, vision
Pluto: power, transformation, regeneration

ELEMENTS
Fire: vital & intense
Earth: practical & stable
Air: social & intellectual
Water: intuitive & emotional

MODALITY
Cardinal: efficacious & self-starting
Fixed: focused & determined
Mutable: flexible & adaptable

HOUSES
First: identity, independence, personification
Second: security, accumulation, possession
Third: communication, learning, exploration
Fourth: family, home, roots, ancestry, the past
Fifth: creation, children, expression, legacy
Sixth: health, resilience, awareness, self-care
Seventh: partnerships, love, community
Eighth: privacy, controversy, transformation
Ninth: philosophy, expansion of the mind
Tenth: reputation, career, success, publicity
Eleventh: vision, friends, community, altruism
Twelfth: depth, subconscious, dreams

ARIES
Mode: Cardinal
Element: Fire
Ruling Planet: Mars
House: First

TAURUS
Mode: Fixed
Element: Earth
Ruling Planet: Venus
House: Second

GEMINI
Mode: Mutable
Element: Air
Ruling Planet: Mercury
House: Third

CANCER
Mode: Cardinal
Element: Water
Ruling Planet: Moon
House: Fourth

LEO
Mode: Fixed
Element: Fire
Ruling Planet: Sun
House: Fifth

VIRGO
Mode: Mutable
Element: Earth
Ruling Planet: Mercury
House: Sixth

LIBRA
Mode: Cardinal
Element: Air
Ruling Planet: Venus
House: Seventh

SCORPIO
Mode: Fixed
Element: Water
Ruling Planet: Pluto
House: Eighth

SAGITTARIUS
Mode: Mutable
Element: Fire
Ruling Planet: Jupiter
House: Ninth

CAPRICORN
Mode: Cardinal
Element: Earth
Ruling Planet: Saturn
House: Tenth

AQUARIUS
Mode: Fixed
Element: Air
Ruling Planet: Uranus
House: Eleventh

PISCES
Mode: Mutable
Element: Water
Ruling Planet: Neptune
House: Twelfth

(Source: astral-obscura)

How to deal with an unhealthy INFP

creativeclutter:

So I have seen some posts about how to help an unhealthy INFP and as I am one myself I thought I would give my two cents. Especially because there were some things I didn’t agree with. I'm not an expert on this and I am simply speaking for myself here in the hope that some other INFPs will relate. And of course, no two INFPs are the same.

First of all, I said ‘ deal with’ rather than ‘help’ for a few reasons. INFP’s are generally - or at least deep down on the inside - vulnerable, emotional and self conscious people. This sensitivity means we are going to have our low points - a lot. These low points can be really clear and concerning to others, or it could be more subtle as it fluctuates. Basically these low points are inevitable - regardless of the form they take. INFPs can also be quite stubborn and distant when unhappy so any attempt to help will be in vain and leave you feeling frustrated. Rather than trying to ‘help’ them so you can fix them, I advise that you simply acknowledge and accept them as they are. Know that eventually it will pass, but it’s vital also to remember that it will return again at any point. (This of course does not apply if you are seriously concerned for their mental health in which case you should encourage them to seek professional help). 

Words that best describe unhealthy me:

• Moody (grumpy/serious and/or mood swings - cannot take pleasure in things the way I do when I’m healthy)
• Stubborn 
• Easily frustrated (can get unnecessarily angry about things that would not usually effect healthy me)
• Forgetful (about physical possessions and events in mine and friends lives)
• Disregard for physical possessions (Messy room - like REALLY messy, dirty clothes, un-organised uni books etc)
• Distant, guarded, quiet, private (to a point where I can come off as cold and unfriendly)
• Fatigued, sleep-deprived.
• Uncaring and self-centred (it’s all still there deep down inside but it’s hard for me to focus on external things when I’m unhappy/tired)
• Lost sense of humour. 

Sometimes these things don’t shine through as I can still act interested or like I find something funny even if I really don’t.

For me personally some signals that I’m probably stressed and unhappy include: losing personal possessions/leaving things behind more often and getting sick, always tired.

What to do:

1. Give me space. I mean this in the most literal way possible. When I’m not doing good the last thing I need is someone being close in proximity or trying to be physically affectionate (healthy me is the opposite as I do not ever feel comfortable expressing affection in words and prefer to opt for hugs and close proximity). Sometimes great hugs can feel relieving, but generally speaking - unless I’ve got the hots for you - don’t touch me (please and thank you). I need to be left alone completely. If you want to contact me - use social media and I will respond if I want to. Please do not demand attention or affection from me. This ties in a lot to the way I become distant and quiet when unhealthy. I cannot explain why I feel any of these ways, but I do and I need space to combat it. I am usually guarded with everyone except for my closest friends and family, but when unhealthy I become distant to everyone. It will pass. Like a cat, you need to wait for me to come to you on my own terms.
   
   
2. Patience. I’m just going to apologise for this one. Sometimes I will be self-centred and even though I’m thinking of them, I will not show support, care or friendship for those I care about and their struggles. I will be stubborn, short-tempered and probably quite irritating. All of which I am sorry for. (But also if you keep your distance you probably won’t have to deal with this as much). 
   
   
3. Don’t use guilt. Please don’t make me feel guilty for not being affectionate, social, interested or open. Guilt is like poison to me and will eat away at my insides and will definitely not improve anything. I cannot help the way I feel, nor do I want to feel this way but I do and you need to let me breathe. 
   
   
4. If you are frustrated be open and honest. One of the things I hate most is passive aggression. It makes me furious. (Surprisingly a lot of posts have described unhealthy INFPs as being passive aggressive which astonishes me. I cannot imagine ever being passive aggressive. I internalise and do not tend to let my anger out or show people when I am annoyed with them. I am more likely to be blunt and honest - if provoked - than passive aggressive. Or I will vent to a friend. I cannot be passive aggressive or tell people what I think to their face because it feels cruel and unnatural. It is just not possible for me. My anger goes deep down inside and then explodes later when my anger bank is full). Find a time to speak to me gently about what is on your mind and I am 10x more likely to listen and take it on board. 

That’s it for now. We are all complex beings and even this lengthy post doesn’t really do me justice. 
If you relate to this please let me know. If you need more help dealing with someone like this feel free to ask me things. IF YOU DISAGREE/DO NOT RELATE AS AN INFP LET ME KNOW BECAUSE I AM CURIOUS.

(via myersandbriggs)

URGENT: STRAIGHT MALE ALLIES NEEDED TO SHUT DOWN LEGAL RAPE “INTERNATIONAL MEETING”

kaagazkalam:

This coming Saturday, February 6, at 8pm local time, followers of “Roosh V”- noted sexist, racist, homophobic, and overall horrible monster (not a human being)- will be holding secret meetings to rally for rape to be legalized. You didn’t read this wrong THEY WANT RAPE TO BE LEGALIZED. 

This shit is dangerous af, and as they have barred anyone who isn’t a cis male or straight, so we need all our white male allies to gather and shut this shit down. If you are a straight man of colour, please be careful. Even though the website says the meeting is for straight men of all races, the Roosh V following has also been known to be very racist and xenophobic.

Here is how the meeting will take place, as according to their website (I’m not going to link it because it does not deserve any hits, but all the info here is authentic- you may google and see for yourself):

We will have 165 meetings in 43 countries for our international meetup day on February 6, 2016 at 8PM local time. Hosts have been instructed to wait at the meeting point from 8:00-8:20pm before moving on to the final location. If you arrive at the meeting point at 8:21pm, you will miss the meetup. Arriving on time within the window is absolutely paramount.

To identify your fellow tribesmen, ask the following question to a man you suspect is there for the meetup: “Do you know where I can find a pet shop?” If you are asked this question, answer in the affirmative: “Yes, it’s right here.” You can then introduce yourself and get details about where to proceed at 8:20. If you ask someone for the pet shop and they appear confused or actually try to direct you to a real pet shop, they’re not there for the meetup.

If you are a woman, DO NOT GO. If you are a gay man, DO NOT GO. If you are a trans man, DO NOT GO. Your safety is at risk. Roosh V has made it very apparent that your presence might be met with violence.

I won’t be able to attend a shut down (obvs- brown gay turban guy), but we need to shut this down ASAP. So to all my white brothers who identify as allies, now is your time to stand up and act.

I will be calling the RCMP and reporting this, make sure you report this to your local police as well.

Here is a list of all the locations where these men will come together (Roosh V himself will be at the Washington DC location):

UNITED STATES

Alabama

• Birmingham – In front of Ohenry’s coffee shop, downtown Homewood (not the Brookwood Mall Ohenry’s)

Alaska

• Anchorage – Elderberry Park, near the Oscar Anderson House, a museum. Meet by the chairs and table. Address: 1297 West Fifth Avenue, Anchorage, Alaska 99501.

Arizona

• Phoenix – Meet in front of main entrance of tallest building of Phoenix Plaza (Qwest Tower).
• Tucson – Arizona Historical Society (949 E 2nd St, Tucson, AZ 85719). Meet at statue near corner of N Park Ave and E 2nd St. Image.

Arkansas

• Little Rock – First Security Amphitheater , 400 President Clinton Ave, Little Rock, AR 72201. Image.

California

• Long Beach – Parking lot of Glory Days Sports Bar, Carson Blvd and Woodruff Ave.
• Los Angeles – L.A. Live in front of Starbucks entrance. Address: 800 W Olympic Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90015
• Newport Beach – The outdoor fountain directly in front of Macy’s department store at Fashion Island. Image.
• Orange County – The fountain in front of the Ferris wheel at the Irvine Spectrum Mall.
• Palm Springs – Fountain at Mercado Plaza (Palm Canyon Drive)
• Redwood City – Parking lot of IHOP. Address: 491 Veterans Blvd, Redwood City, CA 94063
• Roseville – Royer Park (the large park on Douglas Blvd), next to the gatling gun statue. Image.
• San Diego – Corner of 16th & Broadway, in parking lot of the Goodwill
• San Diego (North) – The Village at Pacific Highlands Ranch. Meet in front of The Baked Bear Shop.
• San Francisco – Balboa Park Bart station, by the arched exit. Image.
• San Leandro – Northwest corner of the intersection of E. 14th St. and Estudillo Av. Meet at the public fountain.
• Santa Barbara – Steps of the Santa Barbara Museum of Art, located on the corner of State Street and Anapamu Street in downtown Santa Barbara
• Sherman Oaks – Sherman Oaks Galleria, between the fountain and Cheesecake Factory entrance. Image. Address: 15301 Ventura Blvd.

Colorado

• Boulder – North Boulder Park, beside the shelter. Image.
• Denver – 19th Ave and Gilpin Street, on the south side of Presbyterian/St. Luke’s Medical Center. Image.

Connecticut

• New Haven – World War I Memorial, beside flagpole
• Stamford – In the little square on the corner of Franklin St and Broad St. Image.

Florida

• Orlando – The Red Chinese Tang pavilion at Lake Eola, beside red pagoda.
• Tampa – Curtis Hixon Park, between fountains and grass. Image.
• West Palm Beach – Clematis Street Fountains, on the side of North Clematis street

Georgia

• Athens – The Arch at the University of Georgia
• Atlanta – Piedmont Park, corner of 10th street and Charles Allen Dr by the sign. Image.

Hawaii

• Honolulu – Pearl Ridge Downtown, underneath globe sign. Image. Address: 98 – 1005 Moanalua Rd, Aiea, HI 96701

Idaho

• Boise – Idaho State Capital Building, 700 W Jefferson St, Boise, ID 83702. Met by the statue of Abraham Lincoln.

Illinois

• Chicago – Rogers Park, beside the flagpole. Image. Google Map.
• Chicago (Homewood) – Parking lot of Balagio’s. Address: 17501 Dixie Hwy, Hazel Crest, IL 60430.

Iowa

• Cedar Rapids – In Sokol Park beside the gazebo. 16th Ave SW
• Des Moines – Parking lot of the VA Hospital beside pictured tree.Image. Address: 3600 30th St. Des Moines, IA. 50310

Louisiana

• New Orleans – Magazine Street and Lawrence Square, besides the big tree, across the street from 4318 Magazine Street. Image.

Maine

• Bangor – Bangor Public Library, in front of main entrance below the stairs (145 Harlow St)

Maryland

• Annapolis – Downtown/Historic Annapolis Harbor, Main Street, by the Kunte Kinte memorial statue. Image.
• Baltimore – In front of Cross Street Market entrance in Federal Hill

Massachusetts

• Boston (North End) – Paul Revere Statue in Paul Revere Mall

Michigan

• Ann-Arbor – Nickel’s Arcade in downtown Ann Arbor. Meet at the center column near the entrance off State Street.
• Lansing – Lansing River Trail, top of the fish ladder steps. Image.
• Macomb County/Clinton Township – The Mall at Partridge Creek. Meet in front of the fountain between Brio Tuscan Grille and P.F. Chang’s. Address: 17420 Hall Rd, Charter Twp of Clinton, MI 48038
• Rochester Hills – Elizabeth Park, beside center bush. Image.

Minnesota

• Duluth – Leif Erickson Park by the stage. Address: 12th Ave E & London Road, Duluth, MN 55802

Missouri

• Kansas City – North side of the World War 1 Museum, on sidewalk directly above monument. Image.

Nevada

• Las Vegas – Beside Vegas Vic neon sign on the old strip.

New Hampshire

• Portsmouth – In front of main entrance of The North Church. 2 Congress St, Portsmouth, NH 03801

New Jersey

• Atlantic City – On the Boardwalk in front of main Taj Mahal entrance
• Hoboken – In front of Mulligans Pub underneath the canopy. Address: 159 1st St.

New Mexico

• Albuquerque – East side of University Of New Mexico Bookstore. Address: 2301 Central Ave NE, Albuquerque, NM 87106. Image.

New York

• New York – St. Catherine’s Park, next to the spiral kids slide. 1245 1st Ave between 67th and 68th st
• New York – Washington Square Park under the arch
• Rochester – Eastman School of Music, Kilbourn Hall (26 Gibbs St, Rochester, NY 14604), Meet at intersection at Gibbs and Main, where the concert hall entrance is. Image.
• Syracuse – Columbus Circle, next to the statue. Address: East Onondaga Street, Syracuse, NY 13202

North Carolina

• Charlotte – Romare Bearden Park. Meet by the benches behind the gazebo-like structure on the corner of W Martin Luther King and Church St. Image.
• Wilmington – Riverfront Park, across the river from USS North Carolina, beside map kiosk. Image.

Ohio

• Cincinnati – I-75 and Sharon road has a large parking lot with a grass field next to a Speedway Gas Station. Meet on the grass.

Oklahoma

• Oklahoma City – In front of Harkins Theater at 150 E Reno Ave, Oklahoma City, OK 73104. Image.

Pennsylvania

• Harrisburg – Steps of Capitol on the west side. Image.
• Philadelphia – Washington Square Park, between 5th and 6th St right off Walnut Street (it is the size of a city block). Meet specifically by the memorial to the Revolutionary War Soldiers eternal flame.

South Carolina

• Anderson – The Carolina Wren Park located downtown at 111 E. Whitner St. 29621 in the Pavilion. Meet beside the fountain.
• Camden – King Haigler Tower, main entrance. Image. Address: 950 Broad Street, Camden SC 29020

Tennessee

• Chattanooga – In front of Dollar General. Image. Address: 5952 E. Brainerd Road
• Mount Juliet – Parking lot in front of entrance to Big Star Cigar Lounge. Address: 3384 N Mt. Juliet Road, Suite 1100, Mount Juliet, TN 37122
• Nashsville (North) – In front of Baileys in Rivergate Plaza Shopping Mall

Texas

• Austin – Palm Park by the stone structure. Image. Address: 711 East 3rd Street, Austin, TX 78701
• Dallas – Meet at the old school phone booth In front of British Beverage Company (BBC). Address:
  2800 Routh St, Dallas, TX 75201″
• Denton – Denton Square, beside the little arch. Image. Address: 110 W Hickory St, Denton, TX 76201.
• El Paso – 301 W Missouri Ave, El Paso, TX 79901. Meet on corner next to statue of man. Image.
• Houston – Near the arch of the Sam Houston Monument, adjacent to Houston Museum of Natural Science (5555 Hermann Park Dr, Houston, TX 77030)
• Nederland – By the gazebo in Doornbos Park AKA “Duck Park”. Address: S 24th ½ St, Nederland, TX 77627
• San Antonio – In front of main door of the Alamo

Utah

• Provo – Provo City Center Temple on the corner of University Avenue and Center Street. Meet at circle pathway in front of main entrance.
• Salt Lake City – Salt Lake City Library, at the top of the amphitheater. Address: 210 E 400 S. Image.

Virginia

• Charlottesville – Lee Park, beside the statue of Lee
• Virginia Beach – Mt. Trashmore, at bottom of stairs. Image. Address: 310 Edwin Dr, Virginia Beach, VA 23462

Washington

• Everett – Clark Park, next to the gazebo. Address: 2400 Lombard Avenue, Everett, WA 98201.
• Seattle – In front of main entrance of Seattle Public Library. 1000 4th Ave, Seattle, WA 98104.
• Seattle (North) – Statue of Lenin. Address: Corner of Fremont PI N and N 36th St. Image.

Washington DC

• Dupont Circle, on the north side by the Starbucks. Image.

Wisconsin

• Kenosha – In front of Brat Stop. Address: 12304 75th St. Kenosha, WI 53142.
• La Crosse – The large water fountain at Riverside Park.

GLOBAL (Alphabetically)

Australia

• Brisbane – In the middle of King George Square in front of City Hall.Image.
• Melbourne – In the middle of Federation Square. Image.
• Perth – Ocean Beach Hotel on sidewalk. Image.
• Sydney – Picnic benches in front of Coogee Pavilion on Coogee Beach
• Sydney – Fountain in Hyde Park
• Sydney (South) – Brighton Le Sands beach, close to the stairs leading to the local shops. Image.

Austria

• Graz – In the dead center of Tummelplatz square
• Wien – Museumsquartier, Treppe von Mumok (Stairs of Mumok). Museumsplatz 1, Wien 1010. Meet at bottom of steps.

Bahamas

• Nassau – In front of main entrance to Fort Montagu

Belgium

• Brussels – Place Royale, 1000 Brussels. Meet beside the statue. Image.

Bulgaria

• Sofia – Statue of Saint Sofia. Map

Cambodia

• Phnom Penh – The royal palace in front of main entrance. Meet at the bottom of the steps.

Canada

• Calgary – The CORE Shopping Center, in front of Starbucks
• Edmonton – Churchill Square, to the left of “Tix On The Square”.Image.
• Montreal – Palais des Congrès, 1001 Place Jean-Paul-Riopelle, in between the pink trees (indoors). Image.
• Ottawa – Right inside the front doors of the Arts Court Building (a former county courthouse). Address: Arts Court, 2 Daly Ave.Streetview
• Surrey – City Central Mall, north entrance, in front of Blenz Coffee.Image.
• Toronto – Edward VII Statue in the center of Queens Park
• Vancouver – Vancouver Central Library, south side on Robson Street at library steps. Image. Address: 350 W. Georgia St.
• Victoria – BC Legislature War Memorial. Image.
• Windsor – The Burt Weeks Memorial Gardens, on mini-pier. Image.Homepage.
• Winnipeg – St. Vital Mall right outside the entrance to Chapters.Image.

Chile

• Santiago – Plaza Italia, next to the statue

China

• Shanghai – People’s Square Exit 1, street-side, left corner. Image.

Colombia

• Bogota – In the center of Parque de Usaquen

Czech Republic

• Prague – Republic Square.

Finland

• Helsinki – Kolmen sepän patsas (Three Smiths statue) in Helsinki next to Stockmann department store. Google Map.

France

• Nantes – Crossing of Rue du Chateau and Rue Mathelin Rodier. In front of the main entrance of the castle is a little square with a statue of Anne de Bretagne. Meet beside the statue. Image.
• Paris – Place de la République, beside the lion statue. Image.

Germany

• Aachen – In the center point of Katschhof
• Berlin – In front of main entrance to Cafe Lichtburg. Behmstrasse, 13357 Berlin. Map.
• Frankfurt am Main – Bank entrance of Frankfurt Dome / Frankfurter Dom, in front of the souvenir shop with the red sign. Image
• Hamburg – Hamburg Rathaus, in front of the main entrance
• Munchen – München Olympiazentrum, BMW Welt, main entrance.Image 1. Image 2.
• Nurnberg – Willy-Brandt-Denkmal (monument) at the Willy-Brandt-Platz, next to statue. Image.
• Würzburg – Warriors Memorial near the Wurzburg Residence. Image.

Hong Kong

• In front of Joe Banana’s Bar in Wan Chai on Hong Kong Island (Jaffe Road and Laurd Road).

Iceland

• Reykjavik – Leif Ericsson statue in Hallgrímstorg Church

India

• Mumbai – D-mart in Powai, beside the tree by the main entrance.Image. Google Map.

Iran

• Tehran – Niavaran Park, Tehran. Meet at the eastern side of the main fountain in front of the ice cream shop.

Ireland

• Naas – In front of main entrance of Naas Courthouse

Israel

• Tel Aviv – In front of the main entrance to Sarona Market

Italy

• Bari – Parco 2 Giugno, in front of main entrance on Viale Einaudi.Image.
• Reggio calabria – Museo Nazionale, in front of main entrance. Image.
• Rome – At the Spanish Steps, in front of the Montcler store, at the corner of Via Condotti. Image.

Japan

• Osaka – Next to the KFC beside HEP 5 shopping mall. Address: 6-15 Kakudacho, Kita Ward, Osaka, Osaka Prefecture 530-0017, Japan.Image.
• Tokyo – Ebisu Garden Place Glass Square, beside glass structure

Mexico

• Mexico City – Beside Kiosko de Coyoacan. Image.

Morocco

• Settat – Horse Fountain. Image. Google Map.

Nepal

• Kathmandu – Patan Durbar Square, between the two tall columns.Image.

Netherlands

• Amsterdam – The center of ”Spui”, a square, meeting in front of the ”Maagdenhuis”. Image.
• Utrecht – Center of Neude Square

New Zealand

• Auckland – Aotea Square on Queen Street, next to the industrial statue
• Dunedin – In front of of Dunedin Town Hall at archway below the steps. Image.
• Wellington – Glover Park, in front of “The Rogue & The Vagabond” under the minarets art sculpture.

Philippines

• Manila – Greenbelt mall beside the R-letter pedestal at the entrance near the Hermes store. Image 1, Image 2.

Poland

• Gdansk – At Fontanna Neptuna
• Katowice – Spodek (Saucer) in Katowice. Address: ul. Korfantego 35
• Warsaw – In front of Starbucks across from the Mariott Hotel. Image.
• Wroclaw – In the middle of Plac Solny (“Salt Square”/Flower Market), beside the Iglica (needle) statue. Stare Miasto 50-061/50-062, Wroclaw.

Portugal

• Lisbon – Restauradores – Monument to the Restorers, in front of the obelisk, near Hard Rock Cafe Lisboa. Image.

Romania

• Bucharest – Piata Universitatii – Fantana. Image.

Russia

• Novosibirsk – Next to the statue of Vladimir Lenin on Lenin Square

Serbia

• Belgrade – Trg Republike, in front of horse statue

Singapore

• Singapore – Fort Canning Park, Dhoby Ghaut, underneath big arch.Image.

Slovenia

• Ljubljana – “The Illyrian Provinces Monument” (Ilirski steber) at the “French Revolution Square” (Trg Francoske revolucije)

South Korea

• Seoul – In front of Bosingak Belfry. Jonggak station, subway line 1, exit 4.

Spain

• Barcelona – Underneath Arc de Triomf monument
• Granada – In front of Granada Cathedral

Sweden

• Stockholm – Medborgarplatsen, in front of first glass structure. Image.

Switzerland

• Basel – Baarfuesserplatz Tram Stop, by the tall pole. Image.

Taiwan

• Taipei – On Tap Pub, in front of main entrance. Address: No. 21, Alley 11, Lane 216, Section 4, Zhongxiao E Rd, Da’an District, Taipei City, 106

Thailand

• Bangkok – In front of Starbucks Terminal 21

United Arab Emirates

• Dubai – Dubai Mall, in front of Tim Horton. Image.

United Kingdom

• Cardiff – Beside female statue in front of Hilton Cardiff on Friary Road. Image.
• Edinburgh – Covenanter’s Memorial in Grassmarket
• Glasgow – George Square. Meet by the tall obelisk statue.
• Leeds – The center of Millenium Square
• London – Royal Airforce Bomber Command Memorial, Green Park (Hyde Park Corner side)
• London – In front of Royal Exchange beside horseman statue (outside “Bank” tube station)
• Manchester – In front of the main entrance to Sinclair’s Oyster Pub
• Newcastle – Beside Grey’s monument
• Shrewsbury – Frankwell car park, bottom of the pedestrian walkway.Image.

Please please pleeeease do not ignore this or simply “like” it. Reblog, share a permalink with your friends who are not on tumblr, and get this out.

This bullshit MUST be shut down.

super powers.

myfriendstef:

when you’re fifteen years old your idea of strength is not sitting in the shower at midnight dry heaving and sobbing into your knees. when you’re twenty-three, it isn’t your idea of strength either; but it is definitely better than doing other things.

i watched the jessica jones series on netflix after reading this article and speaking with some friends from home who have both watched the series and have had similar experiences to me. the article itself was nothing short of a punch in the gut but the show did not effect me in full until i finished it. ya see, my experience with my ex-boyfriend never actually seemed real until i watched it happen in front of me in a television show (minus super strength and great rough sex with mike colter and my ex not being british with mind control powers of the super variety). of course there were moments of clarity where i knew that it happened but when you have slipped in and out of something so gross and horrible for you it stops being fact and starts to become a feeling.

after eight on and off years it is still hard to refer to my ex-boyfriend as my abuser.

i remember watching a vhs tape in my health class about abusive relationships. your average after school special where one day the guys tells the girl  to change her outfit because he doesn’t like it, the next day he shoves her against a car, and before you know it he beats her to a pulp and then says he’ll kill her or kill himself if she leaves. the ending is always that she is strong enough in the end and leaves and gets an adult involved, there’s a restraining order, what’s done is done. what they never told me in health class is that sometimes abuse doesn’t have to leave a mark, that you can feel stained without feeling a fist against your cheek. without wiping your blood out of your eyes or scrubbing it out of your clothes. that someone following you to work because you won’t stop to talk to them isn’t romantic but actually super scary. i think it’s important to have shows that depict abuse survivors and accurate recounts of emotional and psychological abuse to be a stand in for the new ‘after-school special’ and for an audience that was brought up thinking differently about what abuse is and how many forms there are and how they work. it’s really damaging to watch shows that try to make girls and boys believe that manipulation and stalking is a form of romance.

as much as i bring up my past relationship on my personal blog and with friends, i found i was never really expressing how i felt as much as i was just story telling. i sometimes believe that my past relationship is the most interesting thing about me; i’m so embarrassed and ashamed to admit that. it’s something that i am great at cracking witty jokes about or stating plainly and immediately emotionally recoiling to prove to whoever i’m talking to that i’m past it, that i’m not bitter. except, i am bitter and i’m not past that pain yet because i was never letting myself really believe that it happened, i turned it into something i could separate from myself and only remember parts of, just the bad parts.

my ex told me that i had a selective memory and that it’s ‘unnerving’ to him that i can’t remember the great things he did for me because of ‘how badly i want to be the victim’.

‘it’s almost like you meet people and immediately say ‘hi i’m stefani, let me tell you about my shitty ex-boyfriend’.’

sometimes and some days i agree with how he said that.

but instead of getting into the things my ex did, because hey lets not relive it for the internet to see, let’s talk about something positive (but still sort of sad, whoops).

when i was done with the last episode i took a minute to look up some other articles to see what else i could relate to. half-way through the second paragraph of the first one i found my heart settled itself in my throat. it finally hit me all at once, that the pain that i dealt with, and still deal with, was valid. after spending years not thinking it ‘really was’ or that maybe i was over reacting because that’s what he said or that’s what my mom thought i was doing; i felt like it was okay to be upset about it. not angry, not the way i had been before, but sad, aching, but in some weird way: free. for once i knew what i was dealing with and could put a name to it.

i haven’t talked to my ex in about two months which doesn’t sound promising or whatever, but for the first time it feels like it really was and is the last time. since our last conversation, where i finally put into words all of the things i was afraid to say to him, i was able to remove him as a person in my life and be comfortable with that. but like i said, abuse stops being a person and starts becoming a feeling (at least for me, please if anyone relates to what i mean i urge you to express it to me because hi, feelings are weird). since i moved officially to new york i’ve been going through what i can only describe as a mild form of ptsd. in college i depended a lot on closing myself off and being sarcastic and caustic (but also really funny ok) in order to keep from seeming vulnerable (give or take a few ‘really drunk at the kingston ave 3 train stop and crying at a boy that kissed me a few times’ moments). i related to jessica’s biting sarcasm and blunt comments because i’ve been that, and i’m still that. it’s very hard for me to be nice to people i’m just meeting without hiding behind the guise of that ‘funny dark haired bitchy girl with a fat ass (ayy!) who i can never tell if she’s joking when she tells me i’m an embarrassment to the human race’. don’t try to hurt me or get to know me because i’m going to hurt your feelings and walk away from you first sort of mentality.

and it’s not for lack of not wanting to be with someone again, it’s just not really knowing how to be. it’s being afraid that i’m capable of hurting other people the way i’ve been hurt. it’s understanding that i have also been manipulative and have been just as shitty to my ex as he’s been to me because i’ve closed off just the same. i’m making an active promise to myself, after crying for four hours in the dark on my floor, to be more vulnerable as i move on in my life. not only in romantic relationships, but just in general. being more vulnerable with myself because i spent so much time not being that and shutting down in order to let room in for other people’s pain. i never felt like i was allowed to really hurt because i was constantly reminded that someone, my ex in particular, was hurting worse than i was. that what i felt wasn’t important. i still struggle with thinking my thoughts and feelings are important or interesting to other people.

something that watching this show helped me realize is that you can start over after destroying something that was holding you back. that’s what i’m working on now, facing what is staring me in the face. all the fear i have about actually becoming my full potential as a person and not being a shell of myself. looking in the mirror and not feeling stained or bruised anymore. realizing that any other men in my life are not and are never going to be my ex, and that i cannot expect that whatever love i get in the future is going to be that kind of love. not stressing out when someone doesn’t text me back (holy shit i know it’s so petty but there are reasons why !!!). not being afraid to be open and genuine at the first sign of friendship or romantic feelings.

most importantly, i need to stop apologizing to other people for being myself. i need to stop being insecure with being vulnerable or missing people or wanting to talk to someone.

i don’t want my best friend from home to think my laugh still sounds like there is nothing behind it. i want to be better than that girl now, i want to push myself past this and grow from it instead of holding onto all of that anger.

maybe that’s my power, is finding the strength to want to move on and start over from square one.

and y’know, i think that’s pretty super if you ask me.